Top 15 Villains: #9- Cobra Commander

9. Cobra Commander (G.I. Joe; TV show)

COBRA!!!!!

Yes, right at number 9 is the one and only commander of Cobra…well, in the new comic series, there’s a few commanders, but I’m talking about the TV show.

Why he’s here:

• His cowardly demeanor may make him look unthreatening, but it also hides the fact that this man is a genius when it comes to getting the hell out of situation. He has escape plan, on escape plan, on escape plan, etc. Some way, somehow, he is going to get away.

• This also factors in to how he defends himself. He’ll never be in a room with a G.I. Joe alone; he’ll always have someone with equal or greater skill as the Real American Hero to protect him, or at least buy him some time to escape.

• He’s the leader of Cobra…duh. Despite Cobra being a rip-off combination of Marvel’s Hydra & DC’s Kobra, it has become one of the most well-known criminal organizations in fiction. And it’s not because people remember the group or anything, it’s because they remember Cobra Commander…’s voice, usually. Which leads to…

•  ·        His voice. It’s one of the most memorable voices in fiction, and admit it…hearing him say “COBRA!!!!” is badass.

Ever since I first watched the  show, this guy has been one of my favorite evil characters, even though sometimes he’s just downright silly…okay, most of the time he is. 

Last Sips: Sector 7 (2011)

        Just watched a Korean sea monster film called "Sector 7". The story follows a group of workers fighting for their lives against a very durable monster. 


        I feel that the film doesn't really deserve a complete analysis given that it's pretty straight-forward, but I'll give a few pros and cons about it. 


Pros:

• The creature design is pretty decent. Nothing groundbreaking, but it's creative enough to hold you interest. The monster looks reminiscent of the "Queen Leech" (the last boss of the video game "Resident Evil 0") at first, but it goes through several phases physically.
• The action scenes are cool, especially the final confrontation. 
• Despite some plot holes and a slow, uninteresting opening, the story gains an "alright" status around the second act (about 45 mins into the film). Classic "survive-the-monster" style, mostly. It rarely tries to be more than what it is at this point; a B-grade monster flick.
• The uncle is badass, fighting the beast head-on at several points. Easily the best character of the whole movie. 
• The movie has bad effects, but they're really good bad effects. High budget bad effects, if you will. You can tell they spent a lot of money making them, so you could easily appreciate the effort and accept the effects for what they are (or I can, at least). 
• How the monster was defeated is neat. I liked it. 

Cons:

• Most of the characters are uninteresting (except the Uncle). They try to give the main girl a story, but they never quite reach the mark. Other than that, no one else is given much development. 
• The first 45 minutes of the film drag on, not really giving anything to the movie except an extended running time. Most of it is just people doing things like staring out into the ocean or having uninteresting conversations. 
• There's a really stupid dirt bike race about 20 minutes into the movie. Raises some questions...mainly "What the hell are dirt bikes doing on a oil rig?". Is it a Korean thing? However, one of the dirt bikes is used again for a pretty cool chase scene, so I'm able to slightly forgive it. 
• All the characters try to kill the monster the exact same way even though the method of execution didn't work the first 20 times. Yes, it hurt the monster, but it seemed to shrug it off pretty quickly. Either they're stupid or very determined to kill it this one way...both could be factors simultaneously . 

Other Notes:

• It seemed the creators of the film really wanted to see how much the could screw the main  girl over. This girl goes through so much shit, it gets to be almost funny, then spirals down to just being depressing. Never catches a break.
• The monster is virtually indestructible. Every time you think they finally killed the creature, the bastard just gets back up. It doesn't even pretend its dead (like other monsters do), it just strolls back on camera with it's best "haters-gonna-hate" walk. 
• Can't tell if the acting is good because I can't speak Korean. It looks okay and has subtitles...that's good enough for me. 

        Overall, I enjoyed the flick. One of the best "Sea Station" themed monsters movies I've seen, and despite what you think, there's quite a few of those (my favorite is Deep Star Six, but that's for another time). Once it got to the monster scenes, it became pretty entertaining. I didn't regret watching it, so that also says something. If you're bored and just want to waste time, give it a watch. 

Delays

Due to being busy on various projects, I've decided to change the Top 15 Villains countdown from a daily blog to a weekly one. That said, I'll still post other articles between those. Thank you for your cooperation. 


With love, 
Julian

Last Sips: The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)

Wow…just WOW….this movie was freakin’ great. I honestly didn’t expect it to be so well put together, so well thought out, and especially so well casted. As a long time spider-fan, I have seen Peter Parker’s origin story redone an untold amount of times, but never like it was in this flick. I can go on for hours about this, but since I doubt you’d want to be here for that long, I’m just going to point out the major things I liked about it, and the few things I didn’t.

What I liked:

·         

       Spider-Man’s Updated Origin: We all know the story. Parker gets bit by a spider, gets super powers, let a robber get away, robber shoot Uncle Ben, Parker catches robber, Parker becomes Spider-Man. Not the case in this movie. Without giving too much away, the minds behind this interpretation actually took their own direction on the beginnings of the hero. It feels familiar, yet it’s different enough to hold your attention until the end. For lack of a better world, it feels more modern, and even more realistic. Now, I’m not one who likes too much realism in a “comic-book” movie, but just how it shows what Peter goes through and the emotions shown by the character, it feels like he is really going through this entire trauma, in turn making you feel more for the character. Also, I love how they displayed Peter’s intial reaction to receiving his powers. In all the other media before this (especially the 2002 Spider-Man movie), Peter just accepts that he has powers. He just says “I can climb walls now? Neat!” then goes on his merry way. In this film, he’s freaking out! He’s scared to touch anything in fear of breaking it, he’s paranoid about what’s around him, he’s tweaking like a drug addict! Then he slowly begins to accept what happened to him. It’s a lot more powerful and character driven in my opinion.

·         The Cast: Andrew Garfield is the best actor to ever portray Spidey. He’s funny and quick with comebacks like how Spider-Man should be, and socially awkward/weird enough as Peter Parker. Granted, Parker is more of a rebel-skater genius than a nerdy genius, but I thought that was a welcome change. He’s a lot better than Tobey Maguire, who I thought sounded too wimpy when as Spider-Man and just didn’t fit the character’s behavior at all. Emma Stone was a perfect Gwen Stacy, giving a supporting lead that actually helped drive the main character’s progression as a super-hero. Denis Leary, who played Denis Leary playing Cpt. George Stacy, stole the show in each scene he was in. I love this guy, and his inclusion in the story just made a great film better. He was hilarious when he needed to be, and kick-ass when he had to be (which was all the time). Rhys Ifans did a pretty good job as Dr. Curt Connors/The Lizard. The look of the Lizard took some getting used to, but by the end I grew to like the design. Also, The Lizard felt like a greater threat to me than the Green Goblin (William Defoe) from the 2002 film. The CGI was well done for the Lizard as well.

·         Web-Shooters Are Back: ‘nuff said.

·         More Fleshed-Out Story: The story as a whole felt more thought out than any of the previous films. They were able to make several references that could be followed for a sequel. And let me tell you, there will be a sequel. Other than that, the story just feel more inspired by the comics, with enough originality to be one of the more unique storylines of the bunch.

Now for the two things I didn’t like:

·        

       Spider-Sense: They didn’t seem to completely explain the spider-sense as well as the last films did. In one scene, it almost felt non-existent because the Lizard was able to sneak behind Spider-Man without the sense even being tripped…then again, maybe the Lizard is just that sneaky, like a ninja. That said, if you need an explanation for the Spider-Sense, you should really consider leaving the rock you’re under.  

·         Lack of J.J. Jameson: Parker’s boss at the Daily Bugle. This will probably be fixed in the next film, and he better be played by J.K. Simmons!

Well, those are my thoughts in a nutshell about the film. I could go way more in detail, but unless you have an extremely great attention span, you’ll be out of it by the 1st hour. Bottom line, go see this movie. It’s amazing. 

Top 15 Villains: #10- The Joker

10. The Joker (Tim Burton’s Batman; movie)

            Is it really a surprise that the Clown Prince of Crime would on this list? The Joker is one of the best villains created in history, and has portrayed in many different ways. My favorite interpretation is from Tim Butron’s Batman, where he is played by the amazing Jack Nicholson. 

            Once a mobster named Jack Napier, he was forever changed by  a fateful encounter with the Batman. A bullet ricochet from a pipe and went straight through his cheeks, causing him to fall into a vat of various chemicals. His skin bleached white from the chemicals and forever smiling due to a botched cosmetic surgery, he was reborn as The Joker, Batman’s arch-nemesis.  

            This Joker is bat-shit insane, maybe even more so than any other version out there. Throughout the film, you can never really pin down what he wants to accomplish through his exploits. Hell, it doesn’t even appear he knows what he wants. As James Rolfe (an internet reviewer) pointed out in his review of the film, when The Joker was asked what he wanted by Vicki Vale, he couldn’t give a straight answer. He just stared at her blankly, then replied “My face on the dollar bill”.

            Describing his crimes, Joker says that he’s an artist, saying “I make art until someone dies”…what kind of freaky logic is that? I’m serious, that’s one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard.

            While most people claim that Heath Ledger’s Joker is the best version of the character, I think this one is still the best. He’s funny, he’s sadistic, he’s what the Joker should be.  Also, Ledger’s Joker borrows heavily from a character portrayed by Gary Oldman from the film “Leon: The Professional”, but I’ll get to that later.   

Top 15 Villains: #11- Walter C. Dornez

11. Walter C. Donez (Hellsing; manga)

            Butler to the Hellsing family/organization and master vampire slayer, 69-year old Walter started as one of the good guys in the Hellsing manga series. However, after being captured by artificially-made vampire Nazis, he was brainwashed and turned in an artificial vampire himself, becoming 40 years younger in the process. Makes sense in Japan.

            Armed with razor wire, Walter could take out hordes of the undead even before his transformation, making him a more than formidable opponent to the main character, Hellsing’s own vampire named “Alucard”. This guy had the skills to kick ass, and he used them frequently.

            What makes Walter interesting, though, is how his mindset seemed to change as the story progressed. In the beginning, Alucard confronted Walter about his age and asked how he felt knowing one day he was going to be useless. Walter replied that he took pride in his age, believing wisdom came with it and wouldn’t be tempted with the unnatural immortality a vampire possesses.

            However, after becoming a vampire, he was frighten about become useless, claiming that he could prove his worth by beating Alucard. Whether or not this was caused by being brainwashed is never explained.

            Honestly, I think he was always one of the bad guys. A spy, more or less, to keep watch on Hellsing while the Nazis gathered their ranks. But, it’s all left up to speculation. In the end, he was able to gather some redemption for his actions by killing the “Doctor” (the man responsible for creating the artificial vampires) before dying himself.

            Despite only having a short run as a villain, it was a memorable one, turning a well-liked hero into a ruthless killer. 

Top 15 Villains: #12- Professor Ratigan

12. Professor Ratigan (The Great Mouse Detective; movie)

            “Oh Ratigan! Oh Ratigan! They rest fall behind to Ratigan! Oh Ratigan! The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind!”

Ahem…Sorry, I uh…I like that song…Anyway, Professor Ratigan, from Disney’s The Great Mouse Detective,  falls 12^th place on the list. I know what you’re probably thinking:

“What the hell? How’s a Disney character more villainous than a masked serial-killer and an eco-terroist ninja?”

            Well, mostly because this character is not only based on the classic nemesis of Sherlock Holmes, Professor James Moriarty, but pretty much perfects how Moriarty should be portrayed. He's a narcissistic, sadistic, unforgiving evil genius hell-bent on taking all of Lon-…I mean “Mousedom”…they’re all rodents, give them a break.

            All these attributes are enhanced by the unique voice work given by the great Vincent Price. For the record, Vincent Price is my favorite actor of all time, so this is a huge factor in why I love this vile mastermind. Price’s voice fits Ratigan just like PB&J, giving the Prof. a delightfully frightening aura every time he walks onto the screen.

            Also, the fact that Ratigan doesn’t accept the fact that he is, indeed, a rat only amplifies how insane he is. He had his own henchman killed for accidently calling him one, which was a wee bit of an overreaction. But, who’s going to tell this crazy rat that, right? 

           The highlighting moment is when Ratigan, beaten and his master plan ruined by Basil (the mouse version of Holmes), gives in completely to his primal instincts, becoming what he always denied to be…a mindless, vicious, bloodthirsty rat.

            Out of all the film interpretations of Moriarty, I feel Ratigan did him the most justice…also, extra points for Vincent Price’s involvement.