Top 15 Villains: #11- Walter C. Dornez

11. Walter C. Donez (Hellsing; manga)

            Butler to the Hellsing family/organization and master vampire slayer, 69-year old Walter started as one of the good guys in the Hellsing manga series. However, after being captured by artificially-made vampire Nazis, he was brainwashed and turned in an artificial vampire himself, becoming 40 years younger in the process. Makes sense in Japan.

            Armed with razor wire, Walter could take out hordes of the undead even before his transformation, making him a more than formidable opponent to the main character, Hellsing’s own vampire named “Alucard”. This guy had the skills to kick ass, and he used them frequently.

            What makes Walter interesting, though, is how his mindset seemed to change as the story progressed. In the beginning, Alucard confronted Walter about his age and asked how he felt knowing one day he was going to be useless. Walter replied that he took pride in his age, believing wisdom came with it and wouldn’t be tempted with the unnatural immortality a vampire possesses.

            However, after becoming a vampire, he was frighten about become useless, claiming that he could prove his worth by beating Alucard. Whether or not this was caused by being brainwashed is never explained.

            Honestly, I think he was always one of the bad guys. A spy, more or less, to keep watch on Hellsing while the Nazis gathered their ranks. But, it’s all left up to speculation. In the end, he was able to gather some redemption for his actions by killing the “Doctor” (the man responsible for creating the artificial vampires) before dying himself.

            Despite only having a short run as a villain, it was a memorable one, turning a well-liked hero into a ruthless killer. 

Top 15 Villains: #12- Professor Ratigan

12. Professor Ratigan (The Great Mouse Detective; movie)

            “Oh Ratigan! Oh Ratigan! They rest fall behind to Ratigan! Oh Ratigan! The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind!”

Ahem…Sorry, I uh…I like that song…Anyway, Professor Ratigan, from Disney’s The Great Mouse Detective,  falls 12^th place on the list. I know what you’re probably thinking:

“What the hell? How’s a Disney character more villainous than a masked serial-killer and an eco-terroist ninja?”

            Well, mostly because this character is not only based on the classic nemesis of Sherlock Holmes, Professor James Moriarty, but pretty much perfects how Moriarty should be portrayed. He's a narcissistic, sadistic, unforgiving evil genius hell-bent on taking all of Lon-…I mean “Mousedom”…they’re all rodents, give them a break.

            All these attributes are enhanced by the unique voice work given by the great Vincent Price. For the record, Vincent Price is my favorite actor of all time, so this is a huge factor in why I love this vile mastermind. Price’s voice fits Ratigan just like PB&J, giving the Prof. a delightfully frightening aura every time he walks onto the screen.

            Also, the fact that Ratigan doesn’t accept the fact that he is, indeed, a rat only amplifies how insane he is. He had his own henchman killed for accidently calling him one, which was a wee bit of an overreaction. But, who’s going to tell this crazy rat that, right? 

           The highlighting moment is when Ratigan, beaten and his master plan ruined by Basil (the mouse version of Holmes), gives in completely to his primal instincts, becoming what he always denied to be…a mindless, vicious, bloodthirsty rat.

            Out of all the film interpretations of Moriarty, I feel Ratigan did him the most justice…also, extra points for Vincent Price’s involvement.  

First Impressions: Pixar's Brave & The Amazing Spider-Man video game

These are just my first thoughts on the new Pixar movie "Brave", and the new Spider-Man video game. Might do a review of these later. 


Brave:

• Animation is superb, one of Pixar's best (if not the best)
• Characters were enjoyable
• The story was well done, good dialogue between the characters
• Stirred up some emotions in me (not unlike Toy Story 3)

The Amazing Spider-Man (VG): 

• Very fun, feels like a thought-out Spider-Man game
• Open-world is probably the best yet as far as Spider-Man games go
• Despite none of the movie actors voice acting, the vocal cast is pretty good, Spidey sounds like Spidey
• Rogue gallery is made up of mostly C-list villains, but are changed enough to make them interesting
• Combat controls are similar to Batman: Arkham City, which fits Spider-Man nicely
• Story is pretty good, catches interest as well as "officially" being canon with the movie timeline

Not a bad day.


-Julian

Top 15 Villains: #13- Jason Voorhees

13. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13^th Part 6: Jason Lives; movie)

            The Crystal Lake Slasher himself, Jason Voorhees is an iconic horror villain known around the world. Once just an extremely durable psychopath, he evolved into an unstoppable undead killer (except in the remake). He’s a slasher who’s plagued Camp Crystal Lake for over 3 decades, coming back every time he’s been stabbed, shot, hung, impaled, even blown up…not kidding, he came back from that.

            Now, as far as character goes...Jason has little to none. Yeah, I know, shocking. However, he’s not about character. No. He’s about killing horny, drunk teens in horrific (and awesome) ways. Whether he’s swinging a girl in a sleeping bag against a tree, or crushing a guy’s head with his bare hands, you just know Jason’s having a good time with his work.

            My personal favorite interpretation of Mr. Voorhees is actually from Friday the 13^th Part 6: Jason Lives. This is the first of the series to show Jason as a zombie (more or less) and gives the characteristics we usually associate with him. The slow walking, the grey rotting skin, the way he just stands and stares his victim down before chasing them; all from this film. In the previous films (except 1 & 5, he was in neither), Jason relied on stealth and cunning to kill (stupid) teenage camp consolers, taking them out before  they can see him until only person is left…then he chases her around the camp to spice things up, I guess. Not in this one. While he does still stalk around, he also seems to make sure his victim sees him before the hatchet comes down. It’s like he knows he’s a zombie now, and realizes nothing can kill him (not even a bullet to the head). Then he said “Screw this hiding shit, I want to see me!”, and proceeded with it.

            I loved this undead psychopath since I was 8, and anything I have bad I have to say about him isn’t relevant because of what he is…a B-movie slasher whose only goal is to beat his body count from the last film. What’s wrong with that?  

Top 15 Villains: #14- Ra's Al Ghul

14. Ra’s Al Ghul (Batman Begins; movie)

            Ra’s Al Ghul, which is Arabic for “The Demon’s Head”, is leads the League of Assassins (or Shadows, depending on the writer) with  the solitary goal to knock the population of mankind down a few notches so he can save the Earth…and possibly enslave it and be ruler of everything ever. In the comics, he is able to rejuvenate his body due to a natural pool of chemicals called a “Lazarus Pit”. However, since I’m talking about Christopher Nolan’s version of the character in Batman Begins, it’s very unlikely that this applies. All thanks to Nolan’s persistence to keep his Batman “realistic”…to keep “Batman Realistic”…still don’t get that. Don’t people read comic books and watch movies to get away from reality because it sucks? Sorry, off topic.

I like Nolan’s interpretation of the character mostly for two reasons:

1. He’s played by Liam Neeson (of Taken fame),

2. This version of the character looks and sounds like Liam Neeson.

I mean, holy shit, hearing Liam Neeson intellectually trash-talk Batman is awesome enough alone, but having him play possible one of the biggest threats to ever face the Dark Knight…that’s just something I can’t explain. However, all praise aside, Ra’s is kind of a one-track villain. His plan in the movie (destroy Gotham City) is very clique, as is most of the plans his comic counterpart has. He keeps a menacing presence throughout the film, ending with a climactic battle of skill against his former student, Bruce Wayne.  

I admit, it wouldn’t be fair to base the judgment of the character only on the actor who played him, so let me elaborate on Ra’s Al Ghul as a whole. While following the very basic motivations for world domination, he does provide an interesting disposition which catches my interest. He wants to wipe out humanity, yes, but he legitimately thinks this will deliver a type of environmental balance to the world. Without mankind, then pollution would end, resources will replenish, forests will grow, etc. He wants to save Earth by killing those who abuse it…his heart might be in the right place, but it’s carrying a shotgun.

Oh, and what kind of comic fan would I be if I didn’t mention Ra’s obsession with Batman? Yes, like all the others in the Wayne rogue gallery, old Ra’s has Bats on the mind. Apparently he feels that Batman is the only person worthy of being his successor once he finally decides to die…and he would be right. Batman already has top-assassin training, as well as being a natural leader; Ra’s would be stupid to think anyone else better for the job.  Problem is, Batman doesn’t want to be his heir, which leads into several conflicts, which leads to Batman sleeping with Ra’s daughter (Talia), which leads to Bruce having a son. Yep, Damian Wayne (the current Robin) is the product of a man who dresses like a bat, and the daughter of a master-assassin environmentalist…only in comics. 

Despite being simple at times, Ra’s Al Ghul has established himself as a threat big enough for the entire Justice League pay attention to. Especially if he’s being played by Liam Neeson…man, that’s awesome. 

All My Coffee #1: The Ex-Text

        Alright, I'm taking a lil' break from my whole "Top Villain List" to talk about something that irritates me more often than not...the "Ex-Text".

"Uncle Julian, what's a Ex-Text?"

        Well, Little Timmy, an Ex-Text is when one of your ex-girlfriends/boyfriends text you out of nowhere after an extended period of time. This could either be a gateway to a possible friendship with the said Ex, or what I can only assume was God's original last plague for Egypt, but due to the cell phone not being a thing back then, he decided to wait and use it on us so it wouldn't be wasted.

         You see, when you receive an Ex-Text, you're not quite sure how to respond back to it. Do you say "Hi" and pretend nothing is wrong? Do you just ignore it and move on with your day? Do you yell (ALL CAPS, that's how you yell through text, right?) at the person for thinking it was okay to just text you out of nowhere even though they broke your heart and made you hate life for weeks on in and get fat off junk food because all you wanted to do is die since they meant so much to you and they just left you regardless?...hm...Truth is, no matter how you react, it's going to end up the way your Ex wants it to end up. If she/he wants it to end badly, it'll end badly, and vice versa.

"Gee, Uncle Julian. Did you ever get an Ex-Text?"

        Well Timmy, if you will just shut the hell up and not interrupt me, you'll find out. Yes, I received several Ex-Texts rather recently, which is why I'm writing this damned thing. I need to blow off some steam and get some things off my chest because...*cough cough*...give me a minute...ahem...*deep breath*...they...are...driving...me...INSANE! Hell, in the past three months, five of my exes have text me, and only ONE of them has ended friendly. You know why only one of them has ended well? Because she appears to actually want to develop a friendship of sorts and NOT try to make me feel bad for past events. Hold up, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. You know what, let me just explain some of the situations I'm talking about. I'll talk about three of the five, just to give you an idea.

EX #1: This girl texts me about every other week for the past...what is it...4 years now? Anyway, she follows a set pattern every time. Starts off friendly, tries to make small talk (fails at it), then asks how I feel about her, and then scolds me for not liking her anymore/attempts to make me feel bad for her because "no one likes her".  Here's the deal...it's freakin' old, I'm tired of it, it's stupid, it's fake, and I hate it. Yes, I was the one who broke up with her. Yes, I get how it is being broken up with. You still think about the person, and wish they would change their mind and come back to you. I get it, and I understand...for the first couple of weeks. This is 4 years we're talking about. If you're still obsessing over a failed relationship for 4 years, then you need to see a therapist. And it wouldn't be so bad if she would actually try to be a friend and talk to me about it, but no. She expects me to get back together with her because I feel bad for her. No stable friendship, no talking, just BAM!, together again.

        That's what it seems like, at least. I tried to be friends with her, asking her if she wanted to hang out so that maybe we could renew our friendship...but every time it's always the same answer, "No, I'm busy". Well, shit! In that case, let's skip all logic and start dating now! Bullshit! Just recently, I found out something about my relationships in general, and it applies here...I break up with people for a reason, and no matter how many times I try to re-date the same person, that reason is always there, and will 95% of the time cause the relationship to fail again, and again, and again. So, I've decided to never date Exes, because when I think "why did we break up in the first place?", I remember what made it crumble, and I know it'll probably happen again. If it didn't work the first time, why would it work the next 3 times? My life's not a romance movie, things don't just get better with a dance and a kiss, at least in my case. I liked to move fast, and it was not always for the best...Now I'm trying to slow down, so I don't set myself for failure...Whoa, I'm off topic again...let's move on.

EX #2: This one more irks than upsets me. This girl and I exchange texts every so often, and before it was just small talk. You know, "How are you?", yadda yadda. Nothing bad...before I go on, let me explain how I used to feel about her...I was madly in love with this woman. By madly in love, I meant non-stop thinking of her and junk. She did have some annoying aspects, like waking me up in 6 a.m in the morning, but I was able to look past that. Here's the twist: I broke up with her. Yep, loved her, dumped her, I'm a horrible person. I can't even honestly say why I broke it off because I'm not even completely sure myself, though I believe it had something to do with a combination of factors. For one, she had a responsibility more important  than me, and I thought  she might  have been focusing on me more than the said responsibility. I'm all for attention...but not when the attention is needed somewhere of more importance than I. Two, I felt that I might have been making a mistake if I stayed with her. I just turned 18, and I just felt...I don't know...that it was too early to settle down with someone while I'm still so young. We were already talking about moving in together and a future, yet we only dated for about three months...too fast, I thought...I didn't want to rush into a future with someone. So yes, I loved her, I felt like shit for weeks on in after the break up, even tried to get back with her. She said no, which is for the best. Didn't want history to repeat itself, which it would have. Break ups happen for a reason, and the reason is always there no matter what.

        Now that's said, let's jump forward to now. I am not in love with her anymore, got over that months ago. And now what started off as just small talk texts has turned into "let me mention my boyfriend first chance I get" texts. Listen, I don't give a shit about your boyfriend, okay? I try not to mention anything about relationships when I talk to an Ex because, and this is the kicker, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THINGS AWKWARD. We dated, we were an item for a time, why do you think I'd want know about your relationship now? When we text, I want to know how YOU are doing, not some guy I don't even know.

"My bf just did this and that lol"

MY GOD! STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES! LET ME DIVERT ALL MY ATTENTION TO HEARING YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND, BECAUSE I ONLY TALK TO YOU TO SEE HOW HE'S DOING!

 

        Maybe I'm overreacting a bit. Maybe its just me, you know? It's just that unless I specifically ask you "how's your man doing?", I don't want to know. Leave those details out, otherwise I assume the only reason you're telling me about him is to rub it in my face.

"My bf just did this for me, and he did that for me, and it's great to be in a relationship and loved and lololololol"

        Ha ha, well then, I guess you're doing far better than me. Obviously, my life is inferior to that of yours because I currently have no one to spend my time with. Except, you know, the group of friends that listen to me and hang out with me because they care for my well being. The group of friends that try to cheer me up when I'm down (which I commend them, because it's not an easy feat) instead of just ignoring how I feel and changing the subject. But, you know, good for you.

        I don't dislike her or anything, I'm just unsettled by her new habit. Still, I wish her a good, happy life and hope she accomplishes what she wants to do.

EX #3: This girl....THIS GIRL...is the one that I'm on friendly terms with. We were able to form a good friendship even though our past relationship had failed. Which is surprising, because she broke up with me, and I usually hold a grudge for that. It took a few months, but I'm happy to say that we're friends. Hell, we even hang out occasionally. So how did this happen? Why did a friendship bud between us? Because she didn't do anything to make things awkward, and I didn't do anything to piss her off. We just started talking again, acknowledged we had stuff in common, and instead of letting the past destroy any bond we had, we just left it as it is...the past. We began anew, and now I'm happy when I get a text from her because I know we are friends. No tricks, no grudges, no problems. Simple as that.

        Well, this whole deal went on longer than I thought it would, and I tell you, I feel a lot better. Is all of this biased? Maybe. Am I completely wrong on every aspect? Possibly. But, this was just what I think currently. Everyone has their own ways if thinking, and this is just mine.

        One other thing though, I'm just curious as to why people hold onto the past? Onto people that hurt them, yet they still wish to be with them? Wouldn't it make more sense to let the past go and look for someone better? Yeah, it's scary, but you never know who's out there. Like right now, I have several Exes talking to me, but instead of trying to settle with one of them, I'm trying to find someone new, to take a chance and see what happens. For example, I like this girl who I've only know for about 10 months, and I really want to see if I have a shot with her. She's beautiful, smart, interesting...everything that I probably don't deserve. I'm quite sure she doesn't feel the same for me, but I'm not going to let up until she says it herself. Who knows? All I do know is I'm tired of chasing past flames, so I'm trying to mold a new candle to burn...that was cheesy, I know, but cheese is good on tacos, so it's not all bad.  I have nothing else to say on the matter, so that's all my coffee.

-Julian 

Top 15 Villains: #15- Jackie Estacado

15. Jackie Estacado (The Darkness; comic)-

            Jackie Estacado, main character of The Darkness comics, is just your run-of-the-mill hit-man/lady-killer/mobster who happens to be host to a powerful, yet evil, supernatural force call the “Darkness”. This force gives Jackie the ability to summon his own imps (called “Darklings”), as well as the ability to create weapons from shadows and regenerate from any sort of wound caused by conventional means.

Despite being labeled an “anti-hero” by many people, he is obviously a straight-up villain. Seriously, the ratio of people saved to people mutilated is very lop-sided with this guy, it’s not even an argument. What keeps this guy from being higher on my list is the fact the writers really try to play him off as a good guy, in spite of the amount of horrible things he does on a daily basis. Just because he feels “super” bad that he’s responsible for the murder of the nice, innocent girl he loved does not make him any better than the demon that hides under his skin. Hell, I didn’t see Spider-Man go on a homicidal rage after his first love (Gwen Stacy) died after being thrown off a bridge by a man dressed in green spandex with elf ears…that’s probably a more plausible reason to go postal, come to think of it. Still, Jackie kills more out of anger and annoyance than a sense of justice.

“But Julian,” random The Darkness fan asks, “Jackie kills mostly gangsters, killers, and other people who do inhumane acts. Doesn’t that make him an anti-hero like The Punisher?” Ahem, I repeat, “Jackie kills more out of anger and annoyance than a sense of justice.”

            Anti-heroes like The Punisher kill criminals out of their own twisted idea of JUSTICE, not out of direct rage or irritation. Jackie didn’t even get a reason to spread justice until about 40 issues into the comic series (that's when his "love" died). During that time, he killed for his adoptive father, who was the Don of the mob Jackie was a part of. In other words, he was still a cold-blooded hit-man long after he received his special abilities. The only reason I can see that people argue for his “anti-hero” status is the fact (I use that word loosely) he doesn’t usually hurt innocent civilians. To that statement, I argue that he would if he thought he had a reason to…such as if he’s annoyed/angry at them.

All that said, I still like the character of Jackie Estacado due to his depressingly humorous personality and ability to kick all sorts of ass with or without powers. In all the comics I’ve read of The Darkness, he has never failed to entertain me with his “shoot first, ask later” mentality...which is shown in action usually throughout %75 of each issue. After a while, he even becomes somewhat of a likable person…albeit still a very bad guy. But there’s no way the writers (especially Garth Ennis) ever intended for him to be good, regardless of what they say.  He’s the kind of baddie you can’t help but laugh with while he’s tearing guys up with his claws and making graffiti with their insides. Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Make Way for the Bad Guy: My Analysis on Villains

            It’s common knowledge that the bad guy is (almost) always cooler than the hero. They possess the unique personalities, the neat weapons, the cool outfits, and (more often than not) no morals to follow by. They break the law, and don’t care. They threaten humanity just to get a few laughs. They beat the hero's sidekick to death with a crowbar just so they can make a joke about it later. Compared to everyone around them, they’re monsters (sometimes literally) that care for nothing, no one, nada, zilch, zero, not even themselves sometimes. Yet despite all that they do, all the horrific scenes they cause, we still watch with pure amusement from their terrible, bloody feats. Why? It could be because that society has grown accustomed to associating violence with entertainment. That through media, we have been twisted, molded to a sadistic nature that loves seeing buildings explode, people shot to death, teenagers slaughtered with machetes, and so on. Maybe we ourselves have been influenced to accept a villainous mindset not unlike those merciless fiends  spreading chaos in television & books everywhere…or maybe it’s just because they look bad-ass and have the coolest scenes/dialogue. Seems to be the case with Heath Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight, at least.

Villains are meant to be the inverse of the heroes; standing for everything they’re against, crossing lines they would never dare to pass. Whether it’s the Joker killing people to spite Batman, or the evil Moriarty using his genius against the heroic Sherlock Holmes, they have no problem doing what the good guy won’t. They symbolize the darkness that resides in all people, but without the resistance of a conscience and concern of the consequences for their actions. And because of that, we find them just as interesting (if not more so) as the hero, loving them in our own sick, little way. I’m no exception to this, so I’ve decided to make a list of my favorite 10 villains, along with the first five runner-ups. So I guess technically it’s a top 15, but you can just shut-up because it’s hard to make just a top ten list, especially since there’s more villains out there than fish in the sea. Screw it, it’s my Top 15 now. Hope you’re happy. Anyway, why did I decide to make this list? Well, because this is all part of a master plan to use hypnotic suggestions projected through your computer screen that will make you transfer any monetary funds you have to me after you fall asleep. Also, I need a break from writing my new script, and wanted to give this whole blog thing a try. Too keep from overwhelming any audience I might have, I’ll post one analysis a day until the list is complete. That’s 15 days, so let’s get started.

Oh, hello. I didn't see you there.

For those of you that don't know me, my name is Julian Carrillo-Blackwell. Established writer, renowned critic, respected philosopher...I am none of these, though I plan to be some day. As a person who constantly thinks of movies, comics, story ideas, and life when conscious (and possibly when not), I've decided to share these thoughts with the people who are curious enough to read them. My own personal reviews, insights, ideas; I plan on sharing them all, among other things. These is all for fun, and to keep me occupied in between my breaks in writing. More stuff soon!


-Julian Carrillo-Blackwell